Forced Eviction, Homeland Sentence, Return Of The Mack

National borders can piss on ones ability to settle where one fancies.  I fancied the Great White North, the land of ice, mountain, bear, tree, moose, salmon, native genocide and ever-more-open neoconservative fascism.  In the land just north of the that mental one run by that peace award dude who likes killing Arab kids via remote control, I found a home.  This term had previously never meant more than self incarceration in slug infested houses or claustrophobic apartments, but in the cold, in the rain, in the grey I found warmth, friendliness, optimism, rocky rights and a plethora of wedges.  Four years passed in the North, my intonation mutated, the boot became the trunk, water now wa-d-er, footy was soccer and the dynamite roll replaced cod and mushy-pea.  I envisioned dense haired prominent brow’d progeny growing up with weird mind twisting hybrid accents, a log home, a crate trained beaver and maple syrup baths.  Alas, governmental red tape took a slap shot at the groin of my dreams and sent me back across the pond for an extended stay in my birth land.

After one year and five months of waiting, paperwork and more waiting, peppered with ineptitude and office administration tittery, I now stand triumphantly back in Canada, Timbits in my hands as a Perm Res.  Citizenry is close, I can see it undressing in the apartment opposite though those redundant lace curtains.  For now though, a resident am I, greatly indebted to those who patted me on the ass in times of form filling despair, when my mind’s eye’s picture of a triumphant return had been replaced with the girl from The Ring dry humping the guy from Saw.  I love you all, my ass patters.

And so, a new beginning in a familiar place, some new pants matched with Grandpa’s socks, a fresh post on an old site…where to next?  The successfully completed counseling of my mind’s eye allows new visions to spring forth, sparkly, bronzed, shimmering, oily, soft, side boob….shit wait…I mean radical and hip.  WordPress is the oyster and it will be speed steamed.  New site sections and content ideas are evolving upon cider-infused agar within petri dishes of thought.  More will follow…

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