Adam’s Gift To Us All

Adam Replogle has given me something monumental.  It’s like there was my life before his gift full of straight handers, cotton mouth, one patch of eczema in my right elbow crease, meandering uninspired career choices and an interest in increasingly heavier genres of metal, and now my life with his gift, which is full of all the same shit but with the addition of the phrase “nut up” .  Two simple words of little interest to anyone who isn’t a squirrel or lift attendant.  But Adam took these beige words and combined them to make a massive fucking rainbow .

A list of things that have been told to “nut up” since the end of the Billabong Pro Tahiti 2011:

My girlfriend, 11 times.  Favourite usage – calmly telling her to “nut up” as a response to her in shower yell blame for the lack of hot water on my own previous 3 minute dip in the liquid.

My dad, once.  Used in response to him complaining about his aging knees and their effect on the activity of gardening.

A mini-mal rider, once.  Used when he asked, in the line up at a local right-hand river mouth, how to exit the water as the incoming tide had swallowed his entry jump off point and regurgitated some kind of skin slicing machine consisting of  surging 4 footers and alternating wet and dry mussel beds.

Adam’s gift isn’t  just for me, it’s for all beings capable of speech, much like Obama and Cameron’s gift of freedom….oh no wait, they didn’t include those guys that aren’t the rich elite, nevermind….

Nut up bitches.

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